The goal needs to be not just to stop unwanted behavior, but to help the student understand why it happened and how they can make a better choice next time.

Here we’ll take a look at a few strategies that work better than traditional detention. These strategies help improve behavior over time, not just at the moment.

The Problem with Punishment: Rethinking the Role of Consequences

Detention may stop behavior for a short time, but it doesn’t teach students why their actions were wrong or show them how they can better handle themselves next time. The goal should be to ask yourself, “What can the student learn from this?”

When a student sees that you care enough to help them, not just punish them, they will be more likely to take responsibility for their actions and open up to you. You move from being the disciplinarian to their guide or coach.

Core Strategies for Teaching, Not Punishing

Students need opportunities to learn from their mistakes. While detention as a consequence may quiet behavior for a day, it will not teach a student understanding. By using restorative practices and logical consequences, you can help students take ownership of their behavior, which can make lasting changes.

When students understand why their behavior matters and learn how to manage their emotions, they start to make better decisions. That is the kind of learning that extends far beyond school walls.

1. Restorative Conversations

Restorative practices like having a conversation with a student, rather than simply punishing them, can be far more powerful than an hour in after-school detention.

• Take a moment to talk with the students one-on-one without their peers around.
• Let them share their side of the story. Sometimes what looks like defiance is actually frustration or embarrassment.
• Stay calm and work together to make a plan on what they can do to make things right.

This simple conversation can help students recognize that their actions affect others and also teach them how to repair relationships when they make a mistake. You’re essentially modeling for students how to stay calm and talk about what happened.

2. Logical Consequences that Make Sense

Logical consequences are when the consequences are directly connected to the behavior. These consequences are fair and focus on accountability, which will help the behavior change.

Here are a few examples:

• If a student makes a mess or spills something, they have to clean it up.
• If the student distracts others in the middle of a lesson, they have to help the class refocus or set up for the next lesson.
• If the student damages something in the classroom, they have to fix it or replace it.

When There Is No Logical Consequence

What do you do if there isn’t a logical consequence for the misbehavior? You focus on helping the students understand why they made their choices. This is when you help them to think critically and learn to self-correct.

Ask them:

• What was going on right before this happened?
• How were you feeling at the time?
• How do you think your choice affected others?
• What would you do differently next time?

Sometimes students just need time to reflect and talk through it. Give them this time.

3. Cool-Down and Reflective Spaces

Sometimes misbehavior can show up as built-up emotions that need to spill out. Sending students to detention at these moments may make matters worse. Instead, send the students to cool down and reflect.

A calm corner can help students take a few minutes for themselves and just breathe. This can also help students learn to self-regulate their emotions. Over time, they’ll learn to step away on their own.

4. The Power of Private Problem Solving

Many students tend to act out because they feel misunderstood or not heard. Calmly talking to them shows you see them, and you care.

Have a private conversation, say something like, “I noticed you are frustrated. Can you tell me what’s going on?” When students feel heard, they will more likely make better choices moving forward.

Preventing Misbehavior Before It Starts

A lot of the time, behavioral issues can be prevented before they ever start. When there’s structure and students feel part of a classroom community, they will feel safe and valued.

Using Positive Behavior Interventions and Supports (PBIS)

PBIS is about preventing problems by teaching expectations. This is where you define and model expected behaviors like kindness and respect.

For example, you may say something like, “I like the way you waited until I was done talking to share,” Or “I appreciate how you helped your group stay on task.” This is when you show students what they did right, so they know to do it again.

Building a Proactive Classroom Culture

• Try greeting students at the door each day. This will help set the tone.
• Don’t assume that students should know better; they may not have been taught what appropriate behavior looks like.
• Try and point out what’s going well. When students know you see them, they will often rise to meet your expectations.

Teaching Self-Regulation

Teaching emotional regulation will help students identify their emotions and manage them before they spill over. Try and integrate a few quick strategies throughout the day, like deep breathing, going outside at the end of the day, and emotion check-in’s like a thumbs up for feeling good and a thumbs down for feeling bad. This will not only give you a sense of how students are doing but also show students that emotions are normal for everyone.

Creating a Culture that Teaches, Not Punishes

Students need opportunities to learn from their mistakes. While detention as a consequence may quiet behavior for a day, it will not teach a student understanding. By using restorative practices and logical consequences, you can help students take ownership of their behavior, which can make lasting changes.

When students understand why their behavior matters and learn how to manage their emotions, they start to make better decisions. That is the kind of learning that extends far beyond school walls.

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This is a worthwhile criticism. Students need to grasp more beyond: “Don’t do this because it’s wrong.” That gives them no insight into how to repair relationships or how to reflect on how their conduct has harmed an individual or collective group. Educators and administrators have chances to seize on these teachable moments to teach valuable lessons about accountability, restoration, and individual reflection.

First, a word of caution: there is such a thing as going too easy on a student when they have harmed another student, a group of students, or a staff member. Students must understand the gravity of violating another’s freedom, space, property, physical safety, and emotional health. I equate the importance of physical safety and emotional health because they are inextricably linked.

Now when an incident results in serious and grave consequences, you’re going to see a consequence that far exceeds detention. School detention, however, can serve as a consequence along the way to far more serious incidents, so if you employ it, you need to make sure you are discussing the importance of preventing behavior from escalating into something more serious.

Your goal with alternatives to detentions should be to replace the detention with another activity that serves as a means of accomplishing more than what the detention would. So, with all that being said, what valuable alternatives are there to assigning detentions?

Restorative Justice: The Overarching Principle

According to an NEA article, “Responsive Restorative Justice in Education (RJE) practices build accountability, promote social-emotional growth, and support positive behaviors in schools.” 

When I mentioned earlier that an activity must replace detention, this is the principle we have in mind. The offending student has to take responsibility and then has to make good on their admission that they have committed a wrong. Below, I’ll expound on some principles that may come up during the process.

Mediation

Google Dictionary defines mediation as simply an intervention in a dispute involving two or more parties with the intention of resolving it. I have frequently employed this method with my students. With my more recent experience being at the elementary level, I have used it to avoid giving recess detentions to students. Instead of them sitting in the office during the allotted time, they come together, work to understand what it is they did wrong, and then resolve the issue by owning up to what they did and apologizing to the other party.

Mostly, this involves an incident where both students wronged each other. There are other times when the sole offending party has to take full responsibility and go about apologizing and making good on their promises. Hopefully, the students will gain more in this process and take away a more valuable lesson and skill, rather than just sitting out and missing valuable time to exercise and socialize.

Restitution 

The Google Dictionary defines restitution as the restoration of something lost or stolen to its property owner or recompense for unjust and loss. In my experience, this has not been that common a practice simply because it hasn’t occurred very often on my watch. Still, it is a principle that schools can practice within reason. If a student intentionally damages another’s property or steals an item, they are responsible to replace the damaged or stolen item. This should be accompanied by an appropriate apology/mediation, etc.

The offending party needs to grasp the damage and hurt they have caused. You’ll have to adjust your methods according to what grade levels you are working with. Younger students will require more extensive involvement with parents. Still, the principle of restitution remains the same.

Reflection Assignments

One last method I have used for offending students is reflection assignments. Usually, this is an essay they write that reflects on what they did wrong and how they can go about making up for it. It contrasts with old methods of corporal punishment writing tasks where students wrote sentences over and over again with the goal of making them feel some type of adverse physical effect. Reflection assignments are the opposite. They focus on important themes of remorse, sorrow, and restitution and can go a long way in making a lasting impression on a student.

Even if you give detentions, these types of practices should be used alongside them. There should be some type of restorative activity along with every disciplinary consequence. If you can do a stand-alone restorative activity, I recommend it. Please ensure you emphasize accountability and that there is a substantive replacement for detention if you decide to forgo it. Best wishes to you!

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Mediation as defined is intervention in a dispute in order to resolve it. Mediation in schools, however, takes on a slightly different meaning. In school, mediation measures are taken to resolve a conflict without the use of detentions and suspensions. These conflicts can be between a student and a teacher, or with a fellow student. Mediation in its purest form in schools seeks to “temporarily” isolate the offending student and attempt to mediate a solution. The desire is for the student, through this mediation process, to become compliant and be able to return to the regular classroom setting.

Mediation vs. Detention: Differences

Mediation attempts to help the student to resolve the conflict first within themselves so that they can return to their classes. The idea here is that in a calm and peaceful place the student will become calm and peaceful. By successful mediation, the school can avoid more punitive consequences such as detention (either during or after school) and in-school or out-of-school suspension.

The major difference between mediation and detention is that mediation allows the student to be a part of the process of correcting their inappropriate behavior and return to class without further consequences. Detention, on the other hand, is punitive in that the teacher or administrator assigns the detention and the student is forced to comply. Mediation gives the student an opportunity to first calm down and get under control. The student can then realize where they went wrong and through the process resolve to return to class and not engage in that type of behavior again. Detention forces the student to sit in isolation and ponder what they did to be put there. Often times the student only becomes more upset about the situation and can be more apt to act out again once they return to the classroom.

Why You Should Consider Meditation Before Detention

Schools should consider mediation over detention first for the obvious reason: the student is allowed to return to class. Invariably there are going to be situations where only detention, suspension, or expulsions are appropriate responses. By having a mediation program, though, many of the minor offenses can be handled without having to keep a student out of the classroom. This becomes a win/win for the student and the school.

Another benefit of mediation over detention is that the number of office referrals that must be handled by the administrator will go down, possibly significantly. With reduced behavioral referrals, administrators can spend more time with the students, as well as on teacher evaluations and interacting with other stakeholders.

Very few discipline issues are positive. However, mediation can take a bad situation and calmly, reasonably resolve the conflict. Through mediation the situation can become a positive experience for everyone involved.

Another benefit can be the way the community views your school or school district. So often there is a great debate about how many detentions and suspensions are happening. Through mediation, the community can see that administrators, faculty, and staff are striving diligently to keep the students in the classrooms.

Examples of Mediation

So, what are some ways that a school can implement mediation?

1. Peer mediation is a type of mediation where students intervene with other students to resolve conflict. If this is implemented in the school, students must be trained in techniques to resolve the conflict but also must be adult monitored. Often times peer mediation is effective because students can talk “straight” to each other.
2. One-to-one, student-to-adult mediation is a type of mediation where an adult sits with the offending student. This person can be a teacher, administrator, counselor, or other staff personnel. The adult mediator helps the student to first calm down. The mediator can offer techniques such as deep breathing exercises to help. Once the student is calmed down, the mediator can help the student to accept the error of their ways and discuss ways to keep it from happening again.
3. Teacher support teams can be effective in helping a student. However, this situation can be counterproductive if the student feels overwhelmed by too many people in the room.
4. A behavior support specialist can be very effective in helping a student through mediation. These specialists often can even spend time after the resolution with the student. This bond can be beneficial to the student in that they can grow to feel like they have someone to advocate for them if times get hard again.

This list is not exhaustive of ways to effectively implement mediation. Factors that have to be considered when implementing a mediation program are: staffing, space, time, and even finances. However, with a little thought and a few caring staff members, a mediation program can and should be implemented in all schools.

We all understand that students are going to have behavioral problems from time to time. How we handle these child behavioral problems is going to determine how our students will behave down the road. Not only is discipline imperative in the schools, it also teaches important life skills on how to resolve conflict in the “real world”. We owe it to our students to do everything we can to get them back in the classroom as soon as possible after a behavior issue.

As stated earlier, there are going to be some times that returning to the classroom is just not an option. However, in most cases at least, attempting mediation should be our “go to” first step in the discipline ladder. We must strive to use behavior situations as “teachable” moments. Remember, sometimes proper behavior must be taught as well as the curriculum.

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